I don't even know where to begin....so I'll start by rambling on, as I usually do.
Yesterday, watching the early morning news, they were showing a segment from a limo accident that killed a group of young people that were going to a 30th birthday party celebration. Watching that brought back a lot of haunted images from the site of my brother's fatal accident in May. I had to eventually turn it off as it was just too raw for me to even bare. The family losing not just 1 life, but MULTIPLE! I don't even know where you would begin to even grieve. Seriously!
Today is one of my WAY off days. I don't know if there is a new moon or a full moon on it's way but something is out there messing with my head. I didn't sleep well last night. My head is just full of way too much and my dreams, which never really made sense before, are really jacked up now. So, anywhoooo, I'm on my way to work this morning (GAG), and I noticed that the tire pressure was low, REALLY REALLY low at 7 psi. Yep, I pulled over and called my husband, who is currently out of town. So he said to check the tire to make sure I wasn't riding on the rim, I wasn't, so I turned around and drove the 2 blocks home. Just waiting to find out what to do. We're leasing the car so I am not sure if I have to call AAA to have my car towed to the dealership or have them put the spare on? Don't know, and really don't care right now. Thankfully, I have another car to use. But I have to move some stuff out of the way. I sent the charge nurse a text to let her know I wasn't coming in and why. This was 9 hours ago. Not one person has bothered to get back to me. I'm a contracted worker so I am my own boss and I set my own hours. The office is kind of, no, not kind of, IS one of the most messed up places to work. There is no loyalty from my end that's for sure. I work a couple of days a week when the clinic is full. I've been there for almost 4 years. I think it's time for me to move on. But, the charge nurse has surgery coming up at the end of the month and I am covering extra days for her. My angel side says to stay, my devil side? HA! It's telling them to fuck off!!
Tomorrow my niece arrives and I can't wait to see her. It will be good to give my Sal E. Mander a BIG Jillie Booo hug. I miss her so much. I can't imagine what her mind must be thinking about right now. All of the traveling and 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th opinions she has to attend. She's a tough girl, cancer has no clue who it's dealing with.
So now the hardest part of my rant, this is tough and this, I am hoping a lie. My brothers ex (POS) is now spreading rumors and telling everyone all over town that he did this all to himself. She said that they had an argument, she kicked him out, that part is true, and now she's saying that she told him "well, if you're so miserable, why don't you just go kill yourself." So now she's talking about his car accident like she's bragging. WHO DOES THIS SHIT???? WHY?!!! Are people really this mean? I call her the black widow. Her past 2 b/f are in prison and now 1 has passed. This woman is clearly not right in the head. Even her own parents talk about her. Bill always use to tell me that her dad could never understand what he saw in Jen. She is crazy just like her sister. And her eyes? Cold and HEARTLESS. Besides, my brother would never or could never do something like this. He loved his 3 children, Kaile, Christian and Collin so much. I only wished he would have reached out to one of us.
My mind is tired and so I will close for the night. I'll be posting again after my niece leaves on Friday. Keeping our hopes and prayers up and fingers crossed we find Dr.'s that can help Sally.
Love and peace to you all
Jillie Bean
Today is one of my WAY off days. I don't know if there is a new moon or a full moon on it's way but something is out there messing with my head. I didn't sleep well last night. My head is just full of way too much and my dreams, which never really made sense before, are really jacked up now. So, anywhoooo, I'm on my way to work this morning (GAG), and I noticed that the tire pressure was low, REALLY REALLY low at 7 psi. Yep, I pulled over and called my husband, who is currently out of town. So he said to check the tire to make sure I wasn't riding on the rim, I wasn't, so I turned around and drove the 2 blocks home. Just waiting to find out what to do. We're leasing the car so I am not sure if I have to call AAA to have my car towed to the dealership or have them put the spare on? Don't know, and really don't care right now. Thankfully, I have another car to use. But I have to move some stuff out of the way. I sent the charge nurse a text to let her know I wasn't coming in and why. This was 9 hours ago. Not one person has bothered to get back to me. I'm a contracted worker so I am my own boss and I set my own hours. The office is kind of, no, not kind of, IS one of the most messed up places to work. There is no loyalty from my end that's for sure. I work a couple of days a week when the clinic is full. I've been there for almost 4 years. I think it's time for me to move on. But, the charge nurse has surgery coming up at the end of the month and I am covering extra days for her. My angel side says to stay, my devil side? HA! It's telling them to fuck off!!
Tomorrow my niece arrives and I can't wait to see her. It will be good to give my Sal E. Mander a BIG Jillie Booo hug. I miss her so much. I can't imagine what her mind must be thinking about right now. All of the traveling and 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th opinions she has to attend. She's a tough girl, cancer has no clue who it's dealing with.
So now the hardest part of my rant, this is tough and this, I am hoping a lie. My brothers ex (POS) is now spreading rumors and telling everyone all over town that he did this all to himself. She said that they had an argument, she kicked him out, that part is true, and now she's saying that she told him "well, if you're so miserable, why don't you just go kill yourself." So now she's talking about his car accident like she's bragging. WHO DOES THIS SHIT???? WHY?!!! Are people really this mean? I call her the black widow. Her past 2 b/f are in prison and now 1 has passed. This woman is clearly not right in the head. Even her own parents talk about her. Bill always use to tell me that her dad could never understand what he saw in Jen. She is crazy just like her sister. And her eyes? Cold and HEARTLESS. Besides, my brother would never or could never do something like this. He loved his 3 children, Kaile, Christian and Collin so much. I only wished he would have reached out to one of us.
My mind is tired and so I will close for the night. I'll be posting again after my niece leaves on Friday. Keeping our hopes and prayers up and fingers crossed we find Dr.'s that can help Sally.
Love and peace to you all
Jillie Bean
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