Beanie Bits

Well today is the day that I'm not sure I can truly say it's one we've all been waiting for. It's been a long tough road for my niece Sally and she is ready for the next step. It will be the 1st of 4 surgeries. Today they are removing a big portion of her liver and tumors and then reconnecting her colon. She will be at the Mayo Clinic so that's always reassuring. The hardest part is the waiting from a distance. Well, I really don't have the hardest part. Sally does, but I'm sure you know what I mean. As of Monday, they didn't know what time her surgery was scheduled for. I spent about a half hour face timing with her. I said a few prayers to my brother and my mom last night. Needless to say, it was a restless night of sleep. I can't even imagine the anxiety my family is going through right now. They all were able to spend the day together yesterday. My sister, brother in law, nephew Joe, Sally's brother and her husband, Paul. Today

Today is your birthday and it kills me that I can't call you and sing to you in my horrific tone deaf voice, or find a song a play it on your voice mail that you really hate. Instead, I will look to the skies, know that you're probably having the best birthday ever. There are days that I know I am really healing from the inside out, then today happens and the pain is just a raw as it was close to 6 months ago. I know that I have to go on living for you, but I need to go on living for myself. And I know I would expect the same of you or any one else if the situation was different. I love you little bro, and I miss you terribly. Your big sis, Jillie

Good morning everyone! I am so excited to say tomorrow my 60 mile walk begins. Yes, I am excited to torture my body into walking but it is a cause that is so very near and dear to my heart. It's something that I look forward to every year. This is year number 13 for me. It may sound like a lot of years, and I seem to think so as well, but there are many others that have walk a lot more than I have. AND, harder walks as in fighting cancer. All cancers suck, not just breast cancer. This picture is from last years walk. I look back on some of these amazing journeys and I wonder to myself, since 2006, how many steps have I taken with training walks included? I try not to think of that because that will just make my feet hurt...LOL. I have so many good memories of these walks and mainly because I met my most BEST friend ever in the entire world, Lisa. She has been there for me through thick and thin. She's been my biggest cheerleader and always motivating me when I felt like I

So I seem to finding myself being a bit happier as the days move on. I know from the inside out, I am healing. Slowly but surely, I know I am going to be ok. And you know what? It's ok to feel that way. I no longer find myself feeling mad or upset at myself if I should start to laugh a little louder or a little more often. And I'm not crying like I was. I may get a little sad, eyes will water a bit, but it's not the heart aching pain kind of cry. I know Bill would want that. And I know I sure would. I wouldn't want someone to stop living after I have died. Life is to be lived. Life is hard and life is tough. Nobody ever said it was easy. If it was, I don't think we'd appreciate it like we should. And I thought I heard him not too long ago in the middle of the night. Someone shouted out my name and it sounded just like him. It wasn't Robert because he was out of town. Maybe he's telling me he's at peace. Bill's headstone has been placed and I ca